…When the going gets tough, the tough get going? When the going gets tough, people simply bail.
…No man is an island? It’s all a matter of choice.
…Better late than never? If you’re late, you’re late. No changing it.
…Fortune favors the bold? Fortune favors only those who are fortunate enough to have it.
…Sharing is caring? Every time I offer to “share” a chocolate with someone, I secretly hope they decline and mentally curse them if they don’t. And I know I’m not the only one who does this!
…Who says when in Rome, do as the Romans? So individuality doesn’t count?
…People who live in glass houses should not throw stones? Freedom of expression, anyone?
…Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst? More often than not, the latter bit is never followed.
...We must keep our friends close, but our enemies closer? Why pretend? Indifference and avoidance work best.
…A picture is worth a thousand words? What could a picture of a fruit bowl possibly convey? I don't get art.
…There’s no such thing as a free lunch? Whoever does, is absolutely right.
…There’s no place like home? It’s more about the people than the place itself.
…Discretion is the greater part of valor? Bullshit.
...The early bird catches the worm? The lucky bird who manages to get some shut-eye does.
…You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs? Humans are incapable of being happy for others without associating a negative emotion with it as well.
…Actions speak louder than words? Pray tell me. Wait. No. Pray “show me” how to get someone’s attention without calling out to them when their back is turned to you. Experience tells me silence never helps.
…Beggars can’t be choosers? I once met a child beggar who wanted the burger in my hand instead of the packet of chips I was giving him.
…Practice makes perfect? There’s a difference between inborn skill and acquired skill.
…If it ain’t broke, don’t try to fix it? The perfectionist in me stops me from believing in this.
…Don’t bite the hand that feeds you? Shake it.
…Absence makes the heart grow fonder? Nine out of 10 long distance relationships fail.
…Beauty is in the eye of the beholder? While I find pigs cute, others eat them.
…Good things come to those who wait? I say just go for it.
…Familiarity breeds contempt? Some personal space is all you need.
…Two wrongs don’t make a right? Trying to get back at someone can possibly make things worse, but succeeding in doing so can give a person a different kind of satisfaction (and anyone denying this is lying). It doesn’t make them a bad person; it just makes them human.